How to Pick a Playlist When Hosting an Event
Posted in Etiquette on 04. Sep, 2009
We all have our own preferred music, but the bands we rock out to in the car or gym don’t always play as well at a dinner party or other formal event. Of course, it’s entirely possible that Linkin Park or Incubus will go over great with the baby boomers–but it’s probably better to pick something a little more subtle until it’s just friends left.
So how do you pick an event playlist when it’s hard enough to stay on top of the genres that you already know and listen to every day? It’s not an easy task–but as someone who really loves music, I’ve spent what many might consider too much time contemplating the issue. Let me try to spare you the agony of going through the same thing by offering a few simple suggestions.
Before considering what specific music to play at any event, it’s important to first understand the intent–what role is the music intended to play? Typically, music isn’t the focus of the event, and if anything (content, style, volume, etc.) ends up mismatched it can become distracting fairly quickly. No matter the type of event, music typically should be geared towards two objectives:
- It should helps guests enjoy themselves
- It should make guests feel comfortable
You do want your guests to feel relaxed and have good associations, right? :) So with those two objectives in mind, let’s consider a few factors:
- This should go without saying, but the formality of the music should correspond with the formality of the event. You wouldn’t play classical music at a BBQ–neither would you play Lynyrd Skynyrd at a black tie dinner (exceptions abound, of course).
- The majority of the music should be consistent with the overall mood you’re trying to set–if it’s fast and upbeat, play uptempo music about two thirds of the time and let off the gas for a bit by throwing in some more relaxed fare as well. Similarly, if you’re hoping to have a relaxing evening, still remember to include some faster tunes about a third of the time. You have to vary it up–if it’s all fast-paced or mellow you’ll either wear people out or bore them to death. There has to be enough variation to give your guests a break and keep them interested.
- In all cases, the music should be upbeat and generally positive, regardless of the tempo. ”Downer” lyrics are almost always something to avoid (so resist the temptation to play Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt, no matter how great it is). Give your guests positive associations with the event!
- Remember that certain genres just aren’t suited for more formal affairs. I like hard rock as much as anyone out there, but it’s better suited for playing cards or pool, and not necessarily having a quiet conversation with a boss or explaining something to your neighbor’s kid. Maybe it’s rap for someone else. Just remember, if the music is something you couldn’t play for a elementary school class or your mother, it’s probably best to leave it out. Again, there are exceptions to everything–but the general principle applies. If you want guests to feel comfortable, keep it safe until it’s just close friends left–then feel free to rock out.
- Consider your audience. If you want your guests to feel comfortable, pick something that’s not too much of a stretch. It doesn’t matter how great the playist is, if your guests are expecting something else it’ll put a damper on things.
- If you’re confident in your song selections, feel free to play music that you know others have never hear but you know they’d like. Otherwise, it’s best to go with what people know–especially classic songs with which people have a positive associations. For a formal dinner, this might be Sinatra’s Fly Me To The Moon. For a BBQ, maybe it’s Jack and Diane or Hotel California.
- Finally (and this isn’t specific to your playlist), don’t sweat it too much–and pay as little attention as possible to things like music after your guests arrive. Anything intended to enhance an evening should do just that–and the last thing you want to do is constantly be changing things, talking about how hard you worked, or worrying about whether people are enjoying or noticing the details. Just relax and don’t sweat the small stuff–there are much more important aspects to the evening than things like music. The easiest way to ensure your guests won’t notice something you regret is to not draw attention to it. Nothing makes guests feel more uneasy than a host who obviously isn’t comfortable in their own environment. Lead the way in relaxing and having fun!
For specific recommendations geared toward certain genres or events, keep checking back–we’re working on lists of our personal favorites. Feel free to post your own thoughts or recommendations in the comments!
-tg
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