A Treatise on the Mustache
Posted in Style & Taste on 09. Sep, 2009
The Art of Manliness has provided a fairly humorous treatise on the mustache, and regardless of your opinion of mustaches it’s worth a read just for the laugh:
“Every strand of hair found above a man’s lips serves as a tribute to the pantheon of mustache holders throughout history, an ode to the testosterone that has driven every strand of every male’s facial hair since the first man roamed Planet Earth.”
Mustaches, it would seem, also have significance that goes far beyond style and testosterone:
“Fast forward to the current age, where societies by and large have maintained their bond to the mustache, as evident in Egyptian society today, where a man’s honor is measured by the size of his mustache. Truth be told, an Egyptian clan elder was stripped of his honor in recent years when an unfortunate scuffle led to his kidnapping and the subsequent humiliation of seeing his mustache shaved, packaged, and sent home.”
Ahh, so that’s why we’re hated in the Middle East! They think we have no honor! Perhaps we should all grow mustaches—in fact, I urge you to do so. Do it for your country and world peace. Trust me, you’ll be glad!
Now, in all seriousness, mustaches DO have a certain flair that (when done right) can be downright classy. Too bad that we seem to be in a lose-lose situation here, since mustaches are now the “ubiquitous trademark of villains, pimps, and scalawags.” Either we have no honor, or we’re villains, pimps, and scalawags. It would seem that the only reasonable thing to do would be to reclaim this noble expression of manliness from the scoundrels and grow some ’staches that would make Teddy Roosevelt proud to call us gentlemen.
-tg
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