Embrace Awkwardness
Posted in Interpersonal on 09. Sep, 2009
Everyone has awkward moments. Yes, everyone. Even the suave and professional people we look up to. Naturally, we want to limit our awkwardness. Awkwardness is, well, awkward!
So the idea that awkwardness can be a good thing is counter-intuitive. But here is why it is true: making an effort to not be awkward cannot prevent you from having awkward experiences (they are inevitable), but it can create more awkwardness.
Therefore you might as well break your fear of it right now by embracing it. Embracing it will in the long run make you less awkward. But you don’t embrace the awkward solely for the sake of becoming less awkward. That’s just the natural outcome. You have to break the fear of the awkwardness so that you are better able to learn and to enjoy life and relationships, and really engage people.
You can be a less awkward conversationalist because you do not worry about the state of the conversation constantly. When we worry about it too much, rather than having a conversation, we start playing competition of who can act the most in line with convention (and perhaps how far someone will dare to the edge without actually getting too close), and when we try to compete, we are no longer practicing.
Being worried about awkwardness will stunt your growth and confidence. Letting yourself be awkward will let you venture into a really interesting conversations and interactions. Awkwardness is not itself a good thing, but being able to enjoy it is, and will ultimately give you a confidence which will be anything but awkward.
Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro in "Meet the Parents", a study in awkwardness.
Brian G.
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